Overheard while channel surfing

I just got home from an afternoon of fun. Bubba, Jimbo, Angry and I watched basketball and ate bar food at Stoney's (cute bartender). We did a long walking tour of gay-ville after Stoney's. Its quite nice to not be cold for once and it not snow on a Sunday. Angry and Bubba went to the airport on Metro and Jimbo and I went for a caveman free workout. I walked with Jimbo back to Shaw to enjoy more sun and warm air!

Once home, I said hi to Bubba and sat down to do some blogging and surfing. Bubba was flipping about the channels and while pausing briefly on Law and Order: Criminal Intent this very official woman said (in perfect timing):

"I know that you just washed your diaphragm. It is still wet."

We both had a giggle.

Angry had a nice visit - far too short. We had a great day yesterday at the ShamrockFest. C.B. and I pushed IPA and Red Hook to very, very drunk straight people. Angry handled the Bud Light tap and cruised straight hotties. Bubba kept getting "lost" trying to find our beer tent (Bubba's tastes run along the 20-something, in-shape and blonde axis which were EVERYWHERE).

Side note: Straight guys have a hard time peeing while drunk - I had a "nice" view of the Port-O-Potties and these guys, who were hammered, emerged pulling at their zippers with vertaible Jackson Pollock-style splatters of urine.

ShamrockFest also exposed me to the extent of the gay-ification of the hetero boys. My gaydar has been very poor for some time now (it is stuck in 1994). I honed it in North Carolina and during my grad school days in Cali, it started to fall apart, it decayed further in Atlanta. However, upon arrival in DC, I have concluded that I have a completely broken gaydar.

I will need to download a DC patch in order to get it somewhat functional again. Problems really seem to start and end with straight boys in tight jeans, tight shirts, fashionable shoes and great haircuts.

I'm glad to see everyone wanting to look sexy and fashionable. But the only thing (which Angry pointed out) that I can use to determine if someone is gay now (in the city) is that the man is underweight. Straight boys still seem to be carrying a frat boy figure. The pictures in MW and the Blade confirm that the homos have gone on a total fat purge. Is 4% body fat the maximum allowed? Is anything over a 30 inch weight permitted?

I think everyone can see the benefit of being fit, but I suspect that the city queens are using cocktails as their "carbos" and eating like sparrows. J&J, the upstairs neighbors tell me stories of going out with some of their Dupont gay friends who drink like fish and nary an item of food in sight.